Welcome, one and all, to a brave new world! Step right up, come right in, and take a look around. is everybody in? Good, we've officially sealed the doors shut, so you can forget about second thoughts! My good people, you have been pre-selected to take part in a wonderful opportunity. A place now stands before you that most normal people never get to see. What's better, most that actually see it never want to see it again, so congratulations on your entry. Here in this wonderful place, you will work harder than you ever had before, become extremely bored out of your mind, and live your lives, and I do mean the rest of it, to the absolute un-extreme!
There are many sights to see here; the one-eyed pirate, the never ending food consuming monster, the born again Christian, the born again virgin (whatever the hell that is), the pushers, the shooters, the pimp, and many more freaks of nature! There are all kinds of attractions and side-shows that are ridiculous enough to make you scream yourself to death, banging your head against a brick wall as you do!
One day, when you're old and gray, have a beard that falls to the floor (whether you're a man or a woman), maybe, just maybe, we'll let you out of here. In the meantime, grab a workstation, don't sit down, wait three hours for your first bathroom break, and enjoy the rest of your life here. Welcome, to life under the orange lights!
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