This week had been particularly taxing on me. Last Saturday I picked up my truck from the dealership complete with a $1350.00 repair bill and an exhaust falling off it's manifold, which I then had to take to another mechanic to fix because the damn thing made more noise than the space shuttle. My wife and I were denied government assistance for our special needs children because I make too much money, according to them. My house is also currently sinking into the ground, and I have to rip the swimming pool out of my backyard since I can't afford to buy a new pump and filter for it. There's more going on, but I think you get the drift.
I'm not complaining about any of these issues. They are nobody else's problem. As a matter of fact, as strange as it sounds, I'm glad that I had all this come up this week, because it taught me a valuable lesson. Life sucks sometimes, and you can't always help that, but you can always do your best to make it better. Will it get better? Who knows, but if you don't try then what the hell ARE you doing?
I started a new job at work this week, and I wasn't thrilled about it because it wasn't the job that I was supposed to get. I just chalked it up with everything else that went wrong and tried to make the most of it. I was placed across the line from another man who was also originally from Michigan, what's now become a state of abandonment. He had worked for the corporation just about as long as I had, only he was nearly twice my age.
As I learned the new job, the people who trained me said the guy had an extremely bad attitude, and I soon found that to be an understatement. This guy went on for hours that he hated living in Kansas City and couldn't wait to leave. His back and neck hurt from doing the job and it wasn't fair that management stuck him there. Gas was going up to five dollars a gallon, and we'd all be out of a job soon. On and on this guy went, telling me his many tales of woe, and how the world had turned it's back on him.
What this man could not tell me was how he was going to solve any of his problems. I began explaining to him that I was trying to make a better run at life, that it was never too late, and that nobody should ever stop improving themselves as human beings. All I received in return was more negativity, at times contradicting the original negative things he said. I then realized that this man had condemned himself a slow and torturous death at his own hands. I personally am not into martyrdom, nor will I ever be.
In the end, I can't solve all of my problems right now, and this person probably won't ever solve his, but if you do not try, you are no longer alive in the scheme of things. You are dying slowly, and life can no longer mean anything to you. I could have told this gentleman he had just won five million dollars, and I'm sure he'd have found something negative to say about it. The way he viewed things, there is no hope, and I guess when I got home from work I might as well have put a pistol in my mouth and pulled the trigger, saving myself more pain and suffering. After all, nothing is going to make the world better.
Maybe I'm still young and naive, but I still have some hope, and he should too. If you're not happy with your life, change it. You are still living, right? It doesn't matter if you're 30 or 300 years old. If you still carry a pulse, you also carry the ability to change things. I'm not saying it'll be easy, because it sure as hell won't be, but it's at least a start. If you settle on what your life has become, and you're not happy, you're just dying and delaying doing yourself in. That's sad because you're too lazy to change, and too scared to off yourself. God gave us life for one reason, and it wasn't to sit there and worship him or to sit there and be miserable. He gave us life to LIVE!!!! Remember that, and don't ever stop trying until you reach happiness. Anybody can do it. Besides, nobody really wants to listen to you bitch about it.
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